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This is not a love story

Desire
I wrote a thing.  It's not a nice thing, and I'm really incredibly scared I dealt with all the issues in it ALL WRONG.  I'm sorry.

Warnings include: human trafficking, rape, abuse, crimes against humanity, violence against women, non-linear story telling, abuse of conjunctions, author is completely unqualified to write this story, heavy-handed reinterpretation of mythology

omg why did I want to write thisCollapse )

Jun. 30th, 2013

Desire
I posted fic on tumblr.  As in, I posted "Which fic do you want to read?" snippets on tumblr.  Please let me know here or there if you want to read more of any of them.  Tag is 'april-rainer is theoretically writing something'.

Mar. 6th, 2013

Desire
Poll #1900525 What should I do with my life?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4

Career options? I have them? A lot of them?

View Answers
Be a salary(wo)man at a Japanese tech company
0 (0.0%)
Get a PhD in Computer Forensics
1 (12.5%)
Be a diplomat
0 (0.0%)
Do network consulting*
2 (25.0%)
Try and join the FBI to have them train me to be a computer forensics expert*
0 (0.0%)
Try and join the FBI as an analyst specializing in computers
2 (25.0%)
Join the Foreign Service to install, maintain, and deal with emergencies for embassy/consulate technical security***
1 (12.5%)
Join the Foreign Service as an IT person^
2 (25.0%)


*additional benefit to this option: it pays well!
**I am somewhat dubious about this one because I have Opinions about the current state of American computer fraud laws, and I would probably not feel comfortable collecting evidence against the Free Software Foundation, or something
***requires convincing them that I should be allowed to apply even though I never learned to drive
^as of today, they are actually *hiring* and I have all their basic requirements!

Bonus 9th option of things that I will not actually do, but somewhat seriously consider every now and then:
start an etsy shop/write novels/open a cafe/do visual or special effects for the movies/start a proof-reading business, possibly in Japan


Feel free to explain why you think what you think in the comments.  :-P
Desire
...but I'm rather lonely this holiday season, and it seems, as always, like everyone else has acheived so much more with the hand they were dealt (I got an awesome hand... I know this... and I sometimes (often) feel like it's wasted on me, because I'm not sure I'm doing much with it).  SO...

holiday love meme 2012
my thread here


Feel free to leave me some love?

(Obviously, if you have a thread, let me know!  I am happy to spread the love!)

Fandom memes are the fun meme

Desire
List the first ten fandoms that come to mind. Your friends will comment with the character from each series that they think you are most like. No favorites (...unless it's legit)!

1. Avengers
2. Inception
3. White Collar
4. Star Wars
5. Legally Blonde
6. Lymond
7. Jane Austen
8. Harry Potter
9. Arcadia [or anything by Tom Stoppard]
10. Good Omens

(Yeah my brain is a weird place...)

WC: S04E07 Compromising Positions

Desire
Neal: "...you do realize that there are pigs flying somewhere, right?"
Mozzie: "Yes, and that's the sound of Hell freezing over.  Now..."
SO MUCH LOVE FOR MOZZIE ALL THE TIME.  He is clearly the brains of this operation.

Neal: "Since I realized that testifying is a con."
Peter: [explains that this is not true]
Neal: "... I stand corrected.  Testifying is a two-man con."
Peter: *dirty look*

*dies in a corner when the lawyer fails to ask Peter the correct questions... please stop making Peter's cases less water-tight, federal prosecuter dude, I don't like it when Peter is sad

There is Sarah!  And her glorious wardrobe!

Emo!Neal wears his catburgler outfit.  That leather jacket is beautiful...

Neal, this is a terrible idea.  I mean, clearly Sarah and El will be more chill about it than you and Peter.  But, still.  Terrible.  And hilarious.

Sarah's expression!  *dies laughing*  Sarah, of course, explains to Elizabeth.

Neal as photographer.  El as peanut gallery.  With champagne.  HAhahahahahaaaa.

Awkwardest scene EVER.  FOR SERIOUS.

Mozzie is special and wonderful and get ALL the best lines.

Neal walks into the courtroom thinking, "eheheheh, new con."  Peter (and this audience member) are going "oh, god, oh, god, it's all going to go wrong."

...and the seasonal plot continues to thicken.

WC: Identity Crisis

Desire
A Mozzie episode.  I am enjoying this so very, very much!

Diana: "...except for the tall part."  Now, Diana, you know that in your heart of hearts you love Mozzie as much as the rest of us.  :-P

Culper Spies.  Had not heard of them.  But now I want Culper Spies historical RPF/Sherwood Ring crossovers.  Because yes, I am shallow.  Also, Peter, you are such a US history dork.  Why am I not in the least surprised?

"But honey, you're going on a treasure hunt.  You love treasure hunts!"  There are no words for how much I love Elizabeth Burke just now.

Mozzie, baby, don't give up on your theories.  I don't want you to be unhappy, and neither does Neal.  Or Peter.  *huggles*

Mozzie: "Secret shadow puppet show after lights out..."
Neal: "I... may need to see that.  Immediately."
Neal, you are the best friend.  I love how well you're able to be nice and wonderful for Moz with being stiffling or anything.  After all the time and effort Mozzie puts into being there for Neal, it's awesome to see Neal being there for Mozzie for once.  :-)

And with the continuing trend "[Neal] doesn't like guns."  Has love of show continuity.  <3


In conculsion, not really a White Collar-like White Collar episode, but entertaining nonetheless, and Neal/Mozzie bonding over family life is utterly heartwarming.

WC: Honor Among Theives Meta

Desire
...I have no one to watch TV with.  This will clearly be a recurring thing.  Sorry, universe.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Neeeeal, please don't ask Peter to do anything illegal.  I don't want him to lose his jooooooob.

Wait, Neal, are you listening to me?  Really, actually?
"For now."  ...well, I guess I can take for now.  It's a start.

Aaaaaand, sometimes Jones is more on top of that expected Neal behavior than Peter is.  Probably because Peter believes the best of people.  Jones is a realist.  :-/

Peter knows just how to cheer Neal up: "All right, so how would you steal something?"

"Who would stop in the middle of museum robbery to get a date?  Don't say it!"  I like this because not only is it funny, it keeps the rather consistent characterization of white collar crooks.  They're mostly like Neal: in it for the fun and fame and thumbing their noses at the universe.  (Of course the money is nice, too.)  But the point is, of course they stop in the middle of their jobs to hit on people -- the reason they follow the career they do is because they prioritize personal pleasure over a little hard work... and getting a date just became more fun than stealing art, at least for a few minutes.

Neal: "She's nervous.  She plays with her hair when she's nervous."
Jones: "I hadn't noticed."
Neal: "That's cause she's rarely nervous."

Neal, what did we discuss about Peter's job?  And how he should get to keep it?

Is it just me, or are all the girls in this show  Wow, check your assumptions at the door, self.  I was just going to say, "Is it just me, or are all the girls in this show more awesome than the guys?" but then I remembered that "the guys" was NEAL, and PETER, and MOZZIE, and JONES, all of whom I kind of adore.  And then I realized that that is my reaction to this episode because I am just so used to watching TV where most of the characters are male, so when there are as many kick-ass women running around as there are men, I'm like, "Girls everywhere!  You go girls!"  Erm.  Wow, okay, done tangenting.

OH MY GOD, MOZZIE YOU ARE BRILLIANT!  I now have a science-crush on you.

"I'm starting to like her."
"I'll add fraud to the list of her crimes."
Also, Diana is kind of adorable when she's flirting.

Diana is honest about her relationship with Christie to the mark.
Neal: "Oh, this is awkward."  Neal also does not like honest pain and unfixable, unconable problems.
Peter: "It's probably just a story."  ...aaaand Peter is either very tactful, or oblivious.

Peter: "Why not tonight?"
Neal: "If this is about you and Elizabeth, I don't want to get involved."  Family is family is family is -- hiding in corner, now, kay?

Oh, wow.  She's kinda evil.  I actually like her even better now.

Love Neal's eyebrows up, then little nod of approval.  Like, yep, that's how I'd do it myself.

Diana, I'm so sorry.  [And show, that was well-built up to, and very believable.]

And that comment I made before about the con-people in this show?  How they do whatever makes them happy?  Whatever they want?  Witness how Neal is moving away from that!  He doesn't take it!  Peter, you are teaching him principals and I wuv you for it.

I love that Neal's absolute terror of being put back in jail is expressed, while he's feeling it, as being a little quiet and looking down a lot.  After Peter tells him it's okay, *huge* sigh.  Completely disproportionate with the worry he's been displaying.  Because really, really stressed Neal internalizes emotion.

I don't know that I have ever seen two people *look* a hug quite so strongly before.  <3 <3 <3

"Does everyone know I have this face?"  [ignoring distrust, ignoring it *really hard*; Peter if you want him to learn those lessons, stop giving him what he wants]

WC: Parting Shots Meta

Desire

Since I have no one to watch with, live blogging my reactions to my most recent White Collar episode.

--------------------------------

Mozzie + Ellen == WIN

“She stole my hat” — simultaneously adorable and reminding me of xkcd’s favorite classhole.

“eyesssenhower” — Neal is just like “… I cannot deal with this right now, Peter, that was NOT funny”

I love how Sara looks briefly uncomfortable about Neal seducing someone else (because she clearly sees that he likes widow-lady), then joins in convincing him to do it.  And I love, love, love that Neal’s weak spot? is his hopeless romantic tendencies, and this is a consistent thing, and that he really hates messing with the pretty, lonely lady’s head.

Chibi!Neal stories!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mozzie: “That shouldn’t be too hard, cheekbones.”

Neal: “Don’t ever call me that again.”

Neal: “…and suddenly you’re living a life you never thought you’d have.  Been there.  A couple times.”  He looks like he’s not completely sure how he feels about his surprise lives.

Peter, your puns are terrible.  Though they do provide us with some of the best gifs on tumblr.

Hughes is just like, “Peter, you need to never screw up again, I DO NOT like doing your job, that is why I keep you around.”

"To Peter Burke, the man we wish we could be more like."  I'll... just be over here... wailing "BAAAAAABIES, PRECIOUS BABIES"... for like... five  minutes?  Okay?

...aaaaand your regularly scheduled ripping Neal's heart out will continue next week at 9/10 Central.  (Unless it's 8/9?  On the Internet, in my case.)